Hello, this is ryker speaking. If you havent read Me then i'd suggest you should do so, anyways I will never be happy. At least long term, and what I mean is i'll never be satisfied. All the realationships I have with anybody is always fake, I will NEVER show Me because i'm never Me but when I am Me, I know that whatever Me says will scare anyone off. Me isnt what I want to be, but Me is Me. Why is Me so bad? Because Me is what i hide, Me is the cause of Laramee. Me is the cause of Him. Me is the cause of Me doing what will put Me in this endless cycle of pain. I will always wonder to myself "what would have happened if i had just never made Laramee as my freind?" "what would happen if He wasnt my freind, would I have not searched up porn?" "what if i had killed myself?" The sad thing is, I wish i had never turned out like this, I wish i had the power to try again. My life is wonderfull, but these "mistakes" are permement. And I just wish that someone who can love Ryker, can exept Me.